Grinning Like a Gazelle

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Tonight is going to be a very special comedy open mic at Cole’s!  Why?  Well, for one thing Your Old Pal Foz is happy about something.  Just grinning like a hyena. 

Also, Your Old Pal Foz gets to use an authentic American Fender Rhodes keyboard for the show tonight, thanks to our old friend, Andy Oloffson.  Thanks, Andy!  It looks like this.  This isn’t it, but it looks like this. 

Just so happy about it.  Grinning like a hyena.

Adam Burke is hosting the open mic tonight, and he is one of Your Favorite Comics.  I never fail to grin when I see Adam.  Grin like a hyena.

Finally, I found a dead gazelle in the ally behind my office.  Now, there is a reason for a hyena to grin.

So get out to Cole’s Comedy Open Mic, tonight at 8:30!  We will play at about 8:45.  Adam will chase down a gazelle and kill it with his bare teeth after that.

Then it will be Your turn to grin.

A Christmas Massacre

Every year Your Pals at FtH conduct a Christmas Pageant in cooperation with Cole’s Bar.  That amazing spectacle will be occurring tonight at 9:00!

This is where we conduct our annual War on Christmas.  Like any good war, our War on Christmas includes a massacre.  In this case, it is the Massacre of the Snow People by the bloodthirsty war criminal known as “Tootie.”  The truth of the massacre, which seems to have occurred at the Battle of St. Louis in 1944, has long been suppressed by the Government, but rare footage of it appears at the 4:30 point in this newly discovered video footage.

An investigation by the International Criminal Court in The Hague found that Tootie decapitated the Snow People because, “Not everybody's going to New York. I'd rather kill them if we can't take them with us."  The grave judges had never heard a more blood chilling explication of mayhem that the cold-eyed “reasoning” of the gassy monster, Tootie.

Tonight we continue our War on Christmas with the help of Andy Oloffson on bass, Ian Capilouto on harp, Jason Earl Folks on Reindeer, and the lovely Duchess of Despair, Krystal Lafianza Pitzen!  After we reenact the Massacre of the Snow People, we will bring You up on stage for Grinch Karaoke – a Cole’s fave!

Be at Cole’s tonight by 8:45 for the 9:00 performance of Foz the Hook’s Christmas Pageant! 

Scary Dreams

I had a scary dream last night where Javier Bardem wanted me to stand still while he knocked me in the head with a pneumatic hammer. I asked if it would result in my death. He said I should stop being such a dick, and hold still because "it would be cool." Then he wanted to flip a coin, and that sounded fair enough, so I said "ok."

I don't know who won.

No, I do! FtH wins, because tonight our friends Andy Oloffson and Maria Wojciechowski have agreed to return to Cole's stage for another feature performance! We worked out some new tunes at practice this week, and it sounded surprisingly good.

You know where this is leading. Meet us at Cole's tonight at 9:00 as we get the room ready for Cole's Comedy Open mic. Cameron Esposito and-or Adam Burke will be there to host, and the room will be filled with the funniest comics The List can hold.

A Little Help From our Friends

Olde Leon "Stinkeye" Strokes has been gone to California for less than a week, so we're still in a little bit of withdrawal. Fortunately for Coles', FtH will not be missing a beat, due to a helping hand from a couple of good friends.

Andy Oloffson, who has been spotted playing Fender Rhodes for The Sweats, will be handling bass duties tonight, and we are thrilled to welcome him to the stage.

Also, you know how I promised you a beautiful and talented special guest for tonight's show? It's not Andy. He's a heck of a player, but he's also a dude. No! Meet your special guest for tonight! Returning to the FtH bill for the first time in a year! Come on out to Cole's to hear FtH with Maria Wojciechowski! (That's pronounced "Wojciechowski"). Here is a picture of Maria that I found on her Facebook page. Quite a looker, eh? But, she also plays Ukulele, Accordian, Kazoo, singing, dancing, song writing, and dressing up like a ghost.

We promise much, but we always deliver. Don't we?

Get to Coles' tonight at 9:00! I don't care if you have Doug Stanhope tickets! Come and see FtH instead. Like I sez - we start at 9:00; the hosts get your juices flowing at 9:30; and a hot list of cool comics will make you scream ALL... NIGHT... LONG.