Poison Valentines Number 1

Don’t you just love Love, my lovelies?

Are you like Foz, who falls in love with love?  But, you see, falling in love with love, I have been told, is falling for make believe (Is it too soon to make pop culture jokes about The Boys From Syracuse?)  

My point is that Your Old Pal, Foz has suffered  enough of heartache to know what Love is all about.  It is a disease more exquisite in its terminal form than in its cure.  Poetic, huh?  Meaningless too!  Well, this is a post about love.

In a couple of weeks Your Favorite Band, Foz he Hook, will debut our second in a series of holiday pageants at Cole’s.  In honor of Saint Valentine we will be presenting Foz the Hook’s Poison Valentine Pageant, on Wednesday night, February 8, at 8:45 – that’s just before Cole’s Heart-Breaking Comedy Open Mic Featuring Cameron Esposito and Adam Burke. 

Come out for FtH’s fabulous show featuring special guests Natalie Jose (as Julia Roberts), Krystal Lafianza Pitzen (as Billie Holiday), Rachel Taylor (as Doris Day), Maria Wojciechowski (as Ingrid Bergman) and Bill Bullock (as the Sax Man).  It will be a salute to the greatest failed love affairs in Hollywood history, as Foz acts out great break-up scenes with the loveliest ladies in Chicago comedy.

More on that later.

But tonight I want you to come to Cole’s for the regular Cole’s Unspeakable Comedy Open Mic, featuring Kenny Witzgall, who is pinch hitting for Cameron and Adam because they are, uh, HEADLINING AT ZANIES!   

We wish Cameron and Adam all the luck in the world at their big show tonight.  We won’t be there.  We’ll be playing for you!  At Cole’s!  Like Always!  Because it never changes!  Yay!  For that!

Oh, isn't comedy just like Love?  Just force a smile, and try to tell yourself that everything will work out this time.

RE:COM

UPDATE (January 19):  Check out the RE:COM Web Exclusive interview with Foz.  Also, there was a fine little set at Cole's last night as Larry Drennan looked at a set list of nine songs he didn't know ten minutes before the show, and then proceeded to nail them.  Way to go, Larry!

Dear Literati,

Olde Foz wishes to direct you to a fine contribution to the Humanities produced by some of the nation’s leading thinkers and opinion makers.  RE:COM Magazine is growing fast, and will soon surpass The New Yorker as the first resource for the Algonquin Round Table crowd. 

Founded in 2010 or some other recent year by a funny lady who works very hard, RE:COM brings you the latest news about the comedy scene on America, or, if funny things ever occur there, the rest of the world.  In these pages you will read features and interviews on such great comics as Tim Minchin (who isn’t American but does play piano), Marc Maron (whose name precedes Tim Minchin at the RE:COM publicity page), and H. Jon Benjamin (who knows somebody who knows Foz).  I cannot emphasize too strongly that this is the most influential publication in the history of the Republic. 

It’s good.  You should think of going and getting it here.

If you do, you will see a sweet photo and caption of Your Old Pal Foz, done by elite photographer Erin Nekervis.  The pic is from the now-famous “Green Wall” shoot taken in Chicago last October, when Foz was wearing a cowboy hat.

Thank you, Erin!  Also, thank you to the glamorous Kristy Rock, for including Foz the Hook in this fine publication!  Just look at that glam shot.  This lady doesn’t just belong to the round table, she gets to sit next to Dorothy. 

If you want to learn what’s up in comedy, subscribe to RE:COM Magazine.  If you just want to see a dashing picture of Foz, also subscribe to RE:COM Magazine.  Also, follow this blog.

After that, I will see you tonight at Cole’s.  The show starts at 9:00 with an intimate set by Foz and Larry, and then continues with a wild list of SOPA compliant comics, led by Cameron Esposito and Adam Burke, at 9:30.

Foz will be wearing a red tie!

On Politics

Last weekend Olde Foz was prowling around town, on my way to the Union League Club of Chicago for a swanky event where eggheads say things like “harrumph, harrumph, harrumph.”  I was going to meet some friends and citizens in a secret, smoky room where we drank whiskey and smoked cigars and decided who would be the next President of the United States.

Ooops.  Pretend I didn’t say that.  There is no smoky room at the Union League Club where elections are fixed and your future is determined by white men in suits who smoke cigars and drink brandy out of snifters.  You still totally live in a free and representative Democracy, and Olde Foz is not a member of some secret star chamber that pulls the strings of international finance and diplomacy and manipulates governments from Washington to Moscow like so many puppets on strings. 

And the room was not filled with hookers.  Nope.  No hookers feeding us champaign from glass slippers.  They was classy ladies!

Anyway, on my way to steal the upcoming election and consign you all to lives of unknowing servitude, and while passing this Eternal Flame thingy by The Blues Brothers Building, I noticed a bunch of miserable, filthy, debased pigeons.  They were crowding close to the eternal flame, scrambling violently to push the next one away from the pathetic temporary refuge from the freezing, heartless, darkened city.  I thought of you, so I took this picture.

Enjoy your crumbs, suckers!

Anyway, Foz the Hook will be playing funny songs for you tonight at Cole’s at 9:00.  As Marx said, “Comedy is the heroine of the suckers.”  That’s why Olde Foz keeps you laughing, while secretly he rules your lives.

Just saying.  It’s all a cover-up!

New Bass Player!

People!

Your Pals in FtH have a big announcement for you today!  Therefore, every sentence in this post will end with an exclamation point. 

After an exhaustive search of three months, we decided to add a new bass player to our mix as a real, ongoing thing!  I have been trying to find out how to change the relationship status on a Facebook band page, but apparently Mark Zuckerberg and Jesse Eisenberg don’t think bands need to have relationships!

Tonight at Cole’s we will introduce you to Foz the Hook’s new bass player!  It’s Larry Drennan (pictured here)!

We will be playing a regular sexy set of FtH songs tonight, but watch out for some hot new set lists in the near future!

Also, watch out for an announcement on the lineup for the much-anticipated Valentine’s pageant, Foz the Hook’s Poison Valentines!

It should involve Love, Hate, Death, Bagpipes, and Acting! 

It will be announced soon!

Until then, please consider coming to Cole’s tonight at 9:00 as FtH opens Cole’s Walloping Good Open Mic Featuring Cameron Esposito and Adam Burke!

PS:  We send our deepest thanks to two fantastic musicians who appeared as featured guests on bass over the past three months, Andy Oloffson and Ian Capilouto.  Look for them to appear again soon, and often.