Pictures of Dead Old Lady!

Kids,

The pictures you were asking about have started to some in. 

Last week  Your Pals in FtH got together again with the mag photog Erin Nekervis to take publicity pics for the new album.  So far they are something great.  I am only going to show one here, because Erin is going to monkey with the other ones until they are just right.  Needless to say, we thank Erin again for her brilliance!

 

L-R = Foz, Kate Adams, Larry, Cait Bowes, Patrick!

Cool huh?

We also have a preliminary title for the album, which heretofore has simply been called Tennessee Williams’ Thing.  It could have stayed that way, but we decided to go ahead and give it a real name.

That name will probably be something like:

Foz the Hook

 and 

The Kates

 and 

Tennessee Williams

 Present:

The Old Lady Died:  A Disgraceful Affair.

That’s all for today because I want you to just stare at Erin’s awesome pic.

Come to Cole’s tonight to see FtH, along with all the comics.  We play at 8:45.  Be there on time to learn Your New Pickup Line.

The Worst Gig Drops!

Too infrequently do I use the pages of this blog to trumpet the praises of somebody else’s work.  I can imagine that you, dear reader, often think to yourself, “This Foz.  Is he so obsessed with his own self and his own band that he doesn’t have time to comment on other fine work going on in comedy and music?”

Yes.

But today we depart from your fascination with me to drop the news of a fabulous new book from music journalist and Fozfriend, Jon Niccum.  You know Jon Niccum from ThisPost.

Jon is a fine and hilarious writer, producer of movies WITHAN IMDB PAGE, film critic, film prof, character actor, guitar player, member of FtH affiliate band Bobby and the Chuxx (he is, in fact, Bobby), co-writer of quite a few FtH songs (including Somebody Write Some Music and Whiskey What Done It), screenwriter, and Storied Newsman.  He is also the only person, thus far, to bloody my nose with a hand puppet dog named Hector. 

Now he proposes to injure me again with a gut-busting hilarious new book about the Rock ‘n Roll Life!  The Worst Gig is the product of Jon’s brilliant interview ice-breaker question to dozens of Rock Stars, “Tell me about your worst gig.”  Actually, I don’t know if it was an ice-breaker question, or just a question he always asked.  For history’s sake, let’s say it was a brilliant ice-breaker. 

The Worst Gig is a book you want.  So buy it.  Buy it from THIS GUY.  Buy it, or you are a dick.

FtH plays tomorrow night at Cole’s at 8:45.  Come on by.  Don’t be a dick.

Boring Nightmares!

Hey, Dreamsnake!  Cut it out!

You know I’m just going to wake up.  You can try to eat my hand all night, but I’m just going to wake up and go pee. So, why do you even bother?

What more, you are on TV.  You’re not even a real snake in my dream!  I am watching TV, and there is a NOVA on about snakes in Arizona that eat people who get caught in barbed wire fences.  The people get caught in the fence, and their really expensive alligator-skin cowboy boots stick up in the air until you – the snake – come and eat them while they scream and scream and scream…

But you’re not real.  Not even in my dream are you real, because even in my dream I am watching you on the TV. 

So, when you sneak up behind the couch and eat my hand that is resting up on the back of the couch, I am not going to scream and scream and scream.  Because you are on TV, AND you are only a snake in my dream.

I’ll just wake up, and go pee.  Maybe, I’ll get a glass of milk and go back to bed.

So, why, when you know you will never eat my hand in real life, did you re-run yourself in my dreams three times, after I ignored you and woke up three times.

Huh?  Why do you think I will be terrified the second time I dream you the exact same way when I just woke up and shut you off?  Why did you think I would be terrified the third time I had the exact same dream the same night?

It’s not working.  I’m not scared of you.  Whiskey will protect me from you.  It always does.

The rest of you:  Patrick isn’t available tonight, so come to Cole’s and watch Foz and Larry play whatever comes to mind and talk about snake dreams.  We start at 845 or 900.  The comics go after that.  I wonder what they dream about?

9/11 Hilarity Comes to Cole's!

Celebrate 9/11 Down on the Bayou!

Hey, Cole’s, my dark-souled nihilist babies!

Do you have your 9/11 jokes ready to go?  Everybody has them.  They are definitely the thing now.  We all promised that we would never forget, and we didn’t.  We just remember 9/11 ironically now.   

Here is a swell picture of how some fellow in Lafayette, Louisiana commemorated 9/11 by putting these wacky graphic airplanes on the local memorial.  Your old pal, Tony Blanco found it.  Apparently, they are inscribed with some Truther kind of stuff.  I guess he showed us!  Thank goodness HE figured out the truth, cuz the rest of us weren’t even watching.  We were just sooooo wrapped up in our little narrow-minded white picket fence worlds!  Thanks!

Anyway, bring your 9/11 jokes to Cole’s tonight. Foz the Hook starts at 845, and the comics go at 930.  We’ll all remember that thing we weren’t going to forget.

What was it again? 

I need a drink.

What the World Needs Now...

Jackie + Col. Foz, 1965

Jackie DeShannon (1965) and Dionne Warwick (1970) agreed that the World needs a little Love Sweet Love. 

Ebony and Ivory live together in perfect harmony.

Today The News tells me that even Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad agrees that the sweet smell of Sarin is not as wonderful as the warm, familiar embrace of conventional weapons of mass slaughter.  He’s willing to let Putin hold on to his gas rather than smoke out more Syrian kids.  The World needs that too!

Dionne + Col. Foz, 1970

Progress is slow, but steady. 

Do you know what else The World needs?  How about another comedy open mic in the city of Chicago?  Yes!

Tonight, Your Pals Foz the Hook’s cousins Colonel Foz will be appearing at The Last Thing the World Needs open mic at the Belmont Pour House Bar at 1113 West Belmont, in Chicago, which is in America.  Not Syria.  Which is good.

Golda + Col. Foz.  Golon Heights, 1973.

You remember Colonel Foz, don’t you?  Of course you do.  He is the famous country music star who played with Ronstadt and Jagger and Janice and Gramm and Ozzie and Hank 1 and 3.  He has also been tied romantically to such starlets as Taylor, Mylie, Ingrid, Golda, and Jagger.  Tonight The Colonel will join Brian Zachary Earl and the other producers of this fine, new room in an attempt to get things warm and lubed for the comics. 

Last Thing Oopen Mic + Col. Foz, 2013!

Be at Belmont Pour House at 8:00 for The Colonel’s 8:15 set.  Brian will set the comics on you at 8:30.  What you do after that is your business!