Boring Nightmares!

Hey, Dreamsnake!  Cut it out!

You know I’m just going to wake up.  You can try to eat my hand all night, but I’m just going to wake up and go pee. So, why do you even bother?

What more, you are on TV.  You’re not even a real snake in my dream!  I am watching TV, and there is a NOVA on about snakes in Arizona that eat people who get caught in barbed wire fences.  The people get caught in the fence, and their really expensive alligator-skin cowboy boots stick up in the air until you – the snake – come and eat them while they scream and scream and scream…

But you’re not real.  Not even in my dream are you real, because even in my dream I am watching you on the TV. 

So, when you sneak up behind the couch and eat my hand that is resting up on the back of the couch, I am not going to scream and scream and scream.  Because you are on TV, AND you are only a snake in my dream.

I’ll just wake up, and go pee.  Maybe, I’ll get a glass of milk and go back to bed.

So, why, when you know you will never eat my hand in real life, did you re-run yourself in my dreams three times, after I ignored you and woke up three times.

Huh?  Why do you think I will be terrified the second time I dream you the exact same way when I just woke up and shut you off?  Why did you think I would be terrified the third time I had the exact same dream the same night?

It’s not working.  I’m not scared of you.  Whiskey will protect me from you.  It always does.

The rest of you:  Patrick isn’t available tonight, so come to Cole’s and watch Foz and Larry play whatever comes to mind and talk about snake dreams.  We start at 845 or 900.  The comics go after that.  I wonder what they dream about?