Get Freaky Tonight

The radio tells us that due to the economy almost 10% of us do not have jobs. Which means a bunch of you have nowhere to be tomorrow morning!

Get out of the house tonight! See a free show! Let your good-for-nothing friends, Foz the Hook, enable you to drink PBR's and hit on other unemployed people. Remember, he or she has no reason to get out of bed tomorrow either! So just ask. I bet you get laid. Here are the details.

It's free!

It starts at 9:00

It features Your Pals Foz the Hook.

it features Your Sweetheart Ever Mainard (pictured above in her Belly Dancer get-up).

It features Your Other Favorite Comedy Band Lola Balatro.

It's free!

And it's at Cole's - 2338 N. Milwaukee, in America.

We'll see you there.

The Freakshowcase is Sooner Than You Think!

and that is when you are going to meet your new best friend, Ever Mainard. Check out Ever here as she lets you have it! She knows how to soften a tough crowd (the secret is to chew on them, like dried beef).

Now, I know you remember Ever from previous FozBlog postings. She has been performing with the comics at Cole's for more than a year. She comes highly recommended by Your Hero, Cameron Esposito. But you remember her most for her terrific "Homeless Men With Boners" bit that inspired Foz the Hook's summer hit, "Spring in the Square." That song is currently in the shop for repairs, but Ever's bit has grown in hilarity with continued exposure.

Ever will join Your Friends With Benefits, FtH, next Monday, October 4 at Cole's for the third installment of FtH's Freakshowcase. This is the only reason to come out on Monday nights, but it is a good one.

Time: 9:00 p.m.
Place: Cole's
Price: Free
Reason: Because you, like Your Good Buddies FtH, are sweet on Ever Mainard.

We hope she continues to wear this Slingblade shirt that has become part of her look lately. Very Sexy!

A Billion Stars Out Tonight.

No time for blather, kittie cats. Tonight is Rich Zito's debut of NIGHT OF A BILLION STARS, at the Edge Comedy Club at the Chicago Center for the Performing Arts. Foz and the boys open the festivities at 8:30, and then Rich will host a night of comedy action involving the likes of Kent Haines, Lane Pieschel, Ever Mainerd, Dara Katz, Crish Sowa, and I don't know - like a billion other great comics.

Many Fascinating details are on the poster, which you will see right here.

It is Saturday. There are drinks. Come and see the show!

Are There Really a Billion Stars?

I suppose so. I've never counted. The real question is "Are there more stars than stacked turtles that all of existence balances on the backs of." But I don't know the answer to that either. I've never been able to count more than a few turtles at any one place at any one time.

Which brings us to your plans for Saturday night, Ms. Cutie Pie. Do you want to go out? There's going to be a swell night of funniness at The Edge Comedy Club at the Chicago Center for the Performing arts. Rich Zito is hosting A NIGHT OF A BILLION STARS, which features a peck of screaming good comics, such as Kent Haines from Comedy Central's "Live at Gotham," and Lane Pieschel from ABC's "Jimmy Kimmel Live National Comedy Championship," and Ever Mainard, the muse who inspired the FtH song Spring in the Square with her fine "Homeless Men With Boners" bit.

You know who else will be there? We will! Foz the Hook! Your best buddies and favorite band! We're playing! Playing, do you hear me! Oh, it's going to be awesome. We will be doing a set of greatest hits to open up the evening and make the room hot before the aforementioned stand-ups blow-out your brain plug like BP popping an oil balloon in the Gulf of Mexico. Who wouldn't want to do that?

It costs $12 at the door, and less if you talk to Rich, who will be at Cole's tomorrow night when we play there like we always do.

Read all the details here. I can't wait. In fact, I'm going to play the piano right now.

Creeping You Out Since 2009!

It never has been the goal of Foz the Hook to make our friends creep out, but our continued residence at Cole's has made it clear that these people are sickos. Well, alright then. Just be that way.

Last week at Cole's Comedy Open Mic our friend Ever Mainard riffed on her life as a barista, and how that profession exposes a girl to getting exposed to.

The next morning Foz was digging random paper out of his shirt pocket when he found a wad of bar napkins scrawled with lyrics to a song called "Homeless Men With Boners," written in his own hand. The drunken lyrics were not right on, but the idea Ever inspired was. By Sunday we had a rough draft to work with, and tonight we will be able to debut the new FtH hit "Springtime in the Square."

Hope you enjoy it. Be at Cole's Comedy Open Mic before 9:00 tonight if you want to catch FtH's opening set. Sign up by 8:30 if you are a comic. If you aren't a comic, just be there! Maybe Ever will be there with more stories about degenerate wieners. You'll be creeped out by the whole thing.

I was too squeemish to do a Google image search on the phrase "Homeless Men With Boners," so you will have to settle for the next best thing - a photo of drunkard-poet Charles Bukowski in bed with his dollie.