An Epoch of History

My Darling Swizzlestix,

I cannot meet you at Cole's next Wednesday because I will be in Tennessee. As some of you may already know Old Foz makes what bread he can break by historianing. When Foz was taking his graduate classes in historianing at Loyola University Chicago he worked during the summers as a National Park Service Ranger at the Shiloh National Military Park in Tennessee.

But you grow bored.

You see, Old Foz knows enough about the April 6-7, 1862 Civil War Battle of Shiloh that President Barack Obama* asked Foz to return to the National Military Park each year to tell people about the history of the Battle of Shiloh.

Here's the story in a nutshell, because I know how much Friends of Foz like their nutshells. The guy pictured above is General Albert Sidney Johnston of the Confederate Army. One day he found this tin cup, and he said, "Hey, is this anybody's tin cup? Cuz if it's not, I could use a good tin cup." And then all the guys said (they were Confederate guys), "Oh, oh! That's my cup!" and " I totally remember having that cup and then losing it." and "Give it to me! Give it to me!" And "Pass me one of them slaves, would ya." Well, they couldn't agree whose cup it was, and since the Confederate Army wasn't exactly some hippie commune where everybody shared everything, General Johnston just kept it for himself. And that's the story of the Battle of Shiloh.

Anyway, pretty ladies, if you're so put out that Foz the Hook won't be at Cole's next Wednesday, just join Old Foz in the Tennessee woods at Shiloh National Military Park, April 6-8, 2010. Shiloh isn't near anything, so I can't give you directions. Bring a sleeping bag. We can zip them up together.

*President Obama didn't do this.