Straight Dope on the 70's

First, it is Cole's Birthday Party Hoedown tonight at Cole's.  All Cole's-based bands will be playing, including Your pals, Foz the Hook at 12:45 tomorrow morning.  We close the show, so you'll have plenty of time to warm up for the With Drunk Astronauts sing-along.  Now.  Down to the day's business.

I forgot to mention this before, what with all the other culturally significant milestones we have seen lately, such as face-eating-zombie-dudes (naked), and the President of the United States coming out in favor of equal protection under the law for everybody.  So I have been alive for those two historic events.

But what all of The Kids want to know about is my experiences on that fateful day, May 25, 1977, when Star Wars Episode IV, A New Hope (known by the un-insufferable as Star Wars) was released.  Where was little Foz that day?  Where did he stand in line?  What was he thinking when he finally beheld the glory of a sub-standard western with puppets in space where the bad guy was a dude in a black hat?  Did it blow your mind, Olde Foz, the first time anybody ever thought of a laser gun or a space ship?  Has your brain ever recovered from the awe-inspiring cinematic technique of showing a little thing, and then showing a big thing?  Will you tell your children and grandchildren all about that fateful day?

The basic answer to all of the above is “yes.”  Stars Wars had a huge impact on my life.  It is why I do not have children or grandchildren – so that I won’t ever have to waste any child’s time blathering on about a pedestrian, “not entirely terrible,” piece of entertainment that has been successfully oversold for 40 years now.

Where was I when Star Wars came out?  Shut up!  How the hell am I supposed to know?  I didn’t care then and I don’t care now.  I only just learned that the movie came out in May of 1977. 

I did see it – later.  After a while.  The theater was maybe half full.  I remember thinking, “hmm.”  Then I turned to my friend – I am assuming I was there with a friend because I was eleven years old and was not allowed to go to the movies alone – and I said something like, “what do you want to do now?”

And that is my story of seeing Star Wars for the first time.

I will tell you this:  A couple of weeks later, my friend Dave told me that he had seen the movie twenty times.  I remember thinking, “Wow Dave, that’s a lot of times to see a movie.” And then saying, “I dunno.  What do you want to do now?”  Dave was the only kid I knew who went back to see that movie a bunch of times.

Later Star Wars was on cable.  HBO also started around ‘77-ish and they played Star Wars  a lot.  That is where I saw it most of the time, along with A Clockwork Orange, which is how I learned how to talk to girls.

Anyway, kids, that’s what the 70’s were really like:  Everybody thought Star Wars was just OK, and nobody liked John Lennon when he died.

Don’t ask about John Lennon.  I’ll smack ya!