The Sleaze Returns

Last night we all had a great time at Cole’s with some good clean fun at the weekly open mic. FtH played their little hearts out, Foz told the Vegas story from last week, only better, Patrick got so sick that they couldn’t play I’m Gonna Be Sick (Granny Granny), Jason Earl Folks got a hair cut, a lady called Rachel played the bagpipes, Bob Palos talked about his recent adventures I think, it rained, Travis over-served Foz, the floor started spinning, and the bedroom was soaked when I got home because I left the windows open. All in all, a pretty sedate evening.

But tonight things will get weird. That’s because The Big Sleazy is returning to The Green Door, 678 N. Orleans, at 8:30, with a showcase of great comics and good beer. There will, furthermore, be a piano player called Foz that you may have met at Cole’s last night. Last week’s show was a huge success, as those of you who gawked at Lauren Vino’s picture know. The show also featured a fantastic headlining act by Prescott Tolk (pictured), a sharp comic who will be flying the nest shortly to knock the west coast on its head. Best of luck to Prescott.

Among the highlights of the evening is host Mike Lebovitz, Megan Gailey, Tia Ayers, Jason, Mikey Manker, and headliner Ken Barnard. So come on down to the Speakeasy room at the Green Door for cheap drinks and cheap laughs. It will be a sleaze fest that will leave last night looking like recess at the Montessori academy.

In the meantime, this is where you buy our new album Gin-Soaked Yankee and Other Disgraces. Go ahead.

I'm Gonna Be Sick (Granny Granny)

They say that you should write about what you know, but they’re wrong. For instance, Olde Foz is not well-schooled on the topic of religion, but I think we can all agree that Cheeze Jesus, Whiskey What Done It, and Dinosaur on the Ark are three of the most valuable religious tracts ever created by a modern, English-speaking piano player. Similarly, I have personal experience with only half of the topics covered by With Drunk Astronauts, yet we play that song with a full-throated enthusiasm that normally requires a lot of expertise.

On the other hand, if you want to hear a song about panicky-retching-helpless sickness, and down homey Grandmotherly health care, we definitely have something to say on the subject. Consider I’m Gonna Be Sick (Granny Granny), an old Chuxx yarn that I learned in the cradle, and one FtH still likes to perform at Cole’s. The lyrics, which were originally discovered by WPA researchers during the 1930s, but which probably date from Elizabethan England, were adapted to the traditional style of 1980s Suburban Kansas City Folk Punk.

In the original dialect they read:

I’m gonna be sick, Granny Granny…

Where is the pail, Granny Granny…

It’s too late, Granny Granny…

[Bridge]

I feel better, Granny Granny…

I’m gonna be sick, Granny Granny….

[The song ends with the whole audience retching into tin buckets].

It is a hard song to perform because we don’t have that many buckets.

Anyway, join us tonight at Cole’s and we will all be helplessly, hopelessly sick. Sound fun?

More Sleaze

The Big Sleazy Show at the Green Door, produced by Nate Simmons and his cohort of comics last Thursday, was a huge success.

The crowd had a great time, the comics were funny, and the room was fantastic for this kind of show. Needless to say Your Old Pal Foz improved the opportunity to get a few ice cold whisky type drinks. Here is a picture of one of them, with super-funny comic Lauren Vino performing in the background because..... Well, duh!

The Big Sleazy will return next Thursday night at the Green Door, 678 Orleans, in the basement speak easy room. Foz will play piano and do whatever else they need. There will be another fantastic lineup of great comics.

So make your plans to be there. If you're lucky, maybe Lauren Vino will be there.

Duh!

The Big Sleazy

There are many times that I wish I was in New Orleans, but not today. We have the Ninth Ward right here in Chicago today with hot temperatures and sticky stanky wetness. That’s why there is not a better week to debut the fantastic new comedy showcase at The Green Door Tavern, The Big Sleazy.

The Big Sleazy features a peck of fine young comedy talent such as Nate Simmons, Jason Earl Folks, and whoever-the-hell-else is on the bill. Your Old Pal Foz provides piano playing and inter-comedy chatter. This fine show takes the stage tomorrow night, Thursday, July 21, at 9:00 p.m. The Green Door is at 678 N. Orleans in the River North neighborhood. Come on out and help Old Foz christen a new show, and then buy as many beers as you can afford to buy me.

In the meantime, meet Your Favorite Band Foz the Hook tonight at 9:00 at Cole’s for the Every Week Amazing Open Mic Comedy Show. Starring Cameron Esposito, and Adam Burke, plus The List, of desperate, desperate comics who will do just about anything to make you laugh. Strike that! They will do anything – ANYTHING – to make you laugh. So come and take advantage of them.

They don’t seem to mind that much.

How We Get Booked

Somewhere FtH has an energetic booking agent that we’ve never met.

I was recently perusing the Foz the Hook digital download page over at the old Bandcamp and noticed that FtH is scheduled to play The Milwaukee Ave. Arts Fest this coming Wednesday, July 20th, on the Coles’s Bar Stage! Yeah! We are on a bill headed by our friend Cameron Esposito with our other friend Adam Burke, both of whom have been featured on this blog before.

I was so happy to hear about this job, which I had nothing to do with booking, that I sent Patrick a “way to go” e-mail for booking us, and sought out Coleman Brice to thank him. Neither Patrick nor Cole knew anything about it.

I wonder if Cameron or Adam know about it?

There is, of course, the possibility that someone at the songkick,com web site noticed that the regular Cole’s open mic is scheduled for that night, and just gave it some free publicity. If so, great. If, however, we are headlining a major art and music fest in Chicago next week, please Internet, let me know the details. I’d hate to miss it.

My Kind of Mess

Not too long ago in dog years Your Pal Foz was sitting with his good Old Pal at the Shamrock in Chicago.

It was plenty crowded with working stiffs, drinking off the daily humiliation of having a job, while simultaneously toasting their great good fortune at having a job. You know the game.

Over at the end of the bar She was sitting with a friend, over-served and under-dressed, shedding the remains of a rumpled business suit-miniskirt combo that, years ago, advertised her as the highly accomplished power-party-girl that we all once wished we were. Oh, she was an especially rare kind of bitter-hot, salt-n-pepper haired working stiff sexpot, spinning on that barstool and staring right through the indulgent bartender. At any moment she might get up and dance on the bar, or she might pitch over backward. Either way was fine with the barflies. They just came for the show.

Now, Foz’s Pal is the flirtatious type, especially when he gets a few in him himself. He headed on over to the bar to fill up our empty domestic piss drafts, and like any dashing gent, offered to buy both ladies another round. Minutes later, Old Pal comes spinning back to the table, trailing smoke. I says “What happened,” to which Old Pal replied, “Oh, she’s my kind of mess!”

Moments later we had a stack of bar napkins arranged in front of us, and wrote up a series of stanzas that later turned out to be indiscernible.

But the title remained, and thus was born the FtH classic hit, My Kind of Mess (Buy it Now!).

That’s the story, my friends, and don’t let anybody tell you different. Even if its me.

To illustrate this story, here is a picture of a pretty lady. She’s my kind of mess too.

Katy Drops a Bomb (and Buy Our Songs)

Babies,

Your Old Pal Foz doesn’t really know much about the artist known as Katy Perry because he’s old. I understand that she kisses girls, which is fine by me. But I hasten to add that I hope her boyfriend don’t mind it. But that’s her business.

No, what we will discuss today is today’s news that Ms. Perry cancelled (or postponed) her scheduled show in Chicago last night because of food poisoning. This food poisoning occurred on the same evening that the thirtysomething artist Britney Spears (still too young to catch Your Good Buddy’s attention) also performed in Chicago.

Now, your Pal normally has a pretty strong stomach, but anything can happen when you have a big show coming up, especially if it’s going to be a throwdown with Brittany Speers. Nerves, you know. They can make you vomit and poop simultaneously, especially if you’re filled up with Sushi and E-Coli as I understand most pop stars are.

So, let’s take Ms. Katie Peary at her word, and assume that she didn’t chicken out, but really did have some explosive shit going one. For the sake of her career, I hope so. Here’s a picture (above) of Katy Parry fixing to cut you! She probably is cranky because she has cracked her Crapper™ with toxic California Maki.

I feel bad for Kathy, and for the girl she kissed.

If, on the other hand, you DO NOT enjoy food poisoning, consider purchasing Foz the Hook’s magnificent album, Gin Soaked Yankee and Other Disgraces. Our songs are about booze, and gambling, and kinking on Asian girls, but as far as I can remember, they are not about scalding eruptions from the bowels from attractive young ladies (although we do have a web site under construction regarding that topic).

Sorry to hear about your malady, Katy. Come and join FtH at Cole’s next Wednesday night, and we totally promise that none of the comics will bring it up.