The State of the Union: Young and Restless

Which brings us to the annual State of the Union Address. I didn't see it because I was otherwise engaged. Did anybody shout "You lie!"? I love the clever repartee of American political discourse.

But last night your new favorite band played a tight (taught) set at Coles' Comedy Open Mic, and, as I sure you have heard by now, elicited reactions of strong emotion from all present. I think most people liked it, but as you know, the piano at Coles' faces away from the audience. Those sounds could have been anything.

Since you already heard all of the usual stuff I'll go straight to the new material - the fantastically successful improvised fanfare for host Cameron Esposito. Cameron wasn't feeling her best last night, but bravely showed up to host the open mic as she always does. This inspired Foz and the Fellas to play (but not prepare) a musical introduction based on the Young and the Restless theme song You know the one. It goes plinky plinky plinky. I hadn't given any thought about what I would actually say, but knew it would be along the lines of "brave girl who went out in the cold with almost no voice just to tell you jokes at a bar." That kind of thing.

Well, as I struggled to make up the words - while playing the song not-too-well - Patrick and Dan pitched right in. Pretty soon the song took on a life of its own, growing fatter and more pompous by the measure. I have no idea what I finally said, but I guess it was inspiring because the room made quite a noise. Cameron kept lurching toward the stage, understandably confused about whether she should actually come up and play, while the song just kept going and going and getting pompouser and pompouser (that's right, I wrote pompouser twice! I'm just that out there). We finally got the lady on stage amid a heart-wrenching, tear-jerking climax. I wish I could remember what I said.

Then Cameron did this fascinating, sentimental (?), bit about going to therapy, and about how maybe she liked to have sex with women because it was like picking up herself because she already knew all the lines that would work. I don't know if I got it right, but it was a very funny bit that seemed achingly honest. I wanted to run up and start playing the soap opera music again (but didn't). My point is this: It was funny. Honest is funny.

In case you forgot, FtH will play their monthly headliner next Monday night at Coles'. The show starts at 9:00, so be at the bar by 8:00, so you can be drunk and surly by the time we start.

Revised Set List

Tonight Foz the Hook opens for the comics at Cole's fabulous weekly open mic. Last week the set seemed a little short. It was. This week we start at 9:00 sharp, and will revise the set list.

Always nice to mix things up.

In the meantime, we shall consider weaving Godzilla into the set.

Wouldn't you?

Al "The Mad Hungarian" Hrabosky

This will help the younger folks understand the latest post.

I looked kind of like that - only red hair - and I never played for the Cards.

Mad Hungarians

Last night I dreamed I was looking at myself in the mirror. I had frizzy red hair, and huge mutton-chop sideburns. I was wearing a St. Louis Cardinals hat.

It was sad. I know, at my advanced age, it must be natural to have some "who is that man in the mirror" moments, but I didn't think it would involve sideburns. I know I didn't think it would involve being a Cards fan. Was it an Al Hrabosky flashback? Was I just in the mood to see Star Wars on betamax?

What happened to my life?

Well, at least Foz the Hook plays at Cole's tonight at 9:10. We're opening for Cameron Esposito, et. al., as usual. Why don't you come on out? You know who you are.

re Perseus Noble

Foz the Hook is not the only band that thinks of Cole's Chicago as home. Coleman Brice's The Splendid Ape can be found there, of course (featuring FtH's own Patrick Stonehouse on drums and bass). You can also get to know Perseus Noble there, a band that can trace its nativity to about the same time and place as FtH. Aside from the impressive quality of their music, Perseus does not have too much in common with FtH. In fact their progress in getting their set together, recording their music, and booking dates, far outstrips our meager efforts. I blame booze. Whether booze is to blame for Perseus' breathtaking energy, or for our comparative indolence I cannot say. But I do blame booze.

Last night, after a good FtH rehearsal at Cole's, Perseus took over the room to record their first video. They had produced some impressively upsetting masks of their own faces that they wore during an alternative universe episode of "Soul Train." You will see Foz and Patrick among the dancers. The masks were reminiscent of those created by 1970's prog rockers Gentle Giant for their Giant For a Day LP (See above).

Someday Foz is going to steal this excellent idea.

See Perseus with The Splendid Ape at the Double Door on Thursday, February 18.

Forty Funny Things

happened at Cole's last night as Foz the Hook opened for the open mic, which was hosted by Mo Welch and Kevin Hogan. As usual, the show featured a long list of forty comics, who did some serious funny business. There were excellent sets by the likes of Natalie Jose and Christopher Condron. Also, the comics/real people ratio seems to be down to about 2/1. The bar was full and there seemed to be sixty souls in the back room. This is getting to be one of the best free comedy shows in Chicago.

But you are here to read about the FtH set, no? Well, we took a bit of a risk by opening with Somebody Write Some Music, a spoken word beat poem. Drums and bass got rearranged into a more regular Jazz vamp, and we even added a piano intro. It was a good call, and credit is due Dan for suggesting. It turned out to be an amusing segue from background music to beginning the show, and the room gradually transitioned from chat mode to show mode. That's so much better than shouting at everybody to shut their yaps and watch the funny.

With Drunk Astronauts yada yada yada.

Dancing was reported in the back of the room during Vibrating Chicken Stomp. That's what I'm talking about! It's not like we're playing Clair de Lune here. If a barn yard song with three upsetting super-vibrato chicken blurts makes you want to writhe on the ground like you're having a Grand Mal, then just drop trow and do it.

Gin-Soaked Yankee made the list tonight, and we all agreed that it went alright. This is not a laugh out loud song, but it's super fun to play. When the vocal performance gets up to speed, I think people will get into it.

Then we used Whiskey What Done It to lead into the Mo Welch Fanfare. This was an audience participation idea, so the audience gets the credit for just how crazy it it got. Basically, Foz got the audience to start chanting "Mo! Mo! Mo!" Then we did it double-time with Patrick increasing the pulse and Dan laying down a bass drone. Finally, when the whole room was thumping "Mo," Foz screamed out Led Zepplin's Immigrant Song, naturally substituting "Mo" for Robert Plant's "Waaaaaa".

Once we turned the show over the Mo and Kevin they kept the wild going for the rest of the night.

Regular hosts Adam Burke and Cameron Esposito turned up after their date at Schuba's, and that kept things on fire for the rest of the evening. Adam and Cameron have really created a comedy monster at Cole's. Can't wait till next week.

Oh, Also! Both Dan and Patrick begged off early, saying they had to get some sleep. They were both still there drinking when Foz staggered out at last call. I love this band.

Major Comedy

For those of All Y'All who join us tonight to warm up Cole's for Kevin Hogan, and Mo Welch, and Cole's Comedy Mic, Foz and the gents have a swell surprise that we haven't thought of yet.

It might be something as simple as a good performance of Mr. Poorluck Buys Some China, Part 2, or something as complex as a incomprehensible arrangement of The Vibrating Chicken Stomp.

We're working on getting Kevin into a Big Bird costume to dance the Stomp.

The other major comedy occurred Monday night, thanks to the magic of Logic. In short, Patrick and Dan had the drum part to Nasty Snowman pretty much done by the time I showed up late to the recording session. Once I got there Logic blew off the MIDI signal from our vintage keyboard, and we spent the rest of the evening trying unsuccessfully to make a sound. We'll get it worked out.

In other news, on Sunday Dan drank six Dragon's Milks and got a ride home on a fire truck. If you want to know the rest of that story, join us at Cole's tonight!

"In the Can!"

Is what we hope to be saying tomorrow.

Tonight FtH will be getting together to lay down the last tracks for Nasty Snowman.

I presume that it will take not much time, so we might start another song.

What shall we do? My Kind of Mess? Gin-Soaked Yankee? Vibrating Chicken Stomp? Theme of the Guys From France?

The possibilities aren't endless, but they are more than I care to think about.

In the mean time, plan on joining the guys Wednesday night as we warm up Cole's for the comics.

Love those comics!

Nasty Snow Day

It was a snow day like the one yesterday a couple of years ago when I was shoveling the sidewalk in front of Foz the Hook's Logan Square compound - but warmer. So the snow was heavy and wet. Every shovel full was a pain in the butt, and the going was slow.

After working for a long time I stood up to stretch out my too-long backbone, and naturally emitted the old-man sound I have been cultivating since I turned 40. Looking around at the cold-wet-gray colorless landscape I exclaimed to no one within hearing, "That's some nasty snow, man!"

Then I said, "Hmmmm. Nasty Snowman." By the time the sidewalk was clear the FtH song was well along its way. At least the chorus was done, and once you have the chorus, you are most of the way done with song-writing.

If you don't believe me, just ask Carol King. Go ahead and ask her. I dare you.

The Morning After

No, Foz the Hook did not cover the classic Maureen McGovern ballad from The Poseidon Adventure last night. That's for another night and another show.

But we did play two sets in a warm bar on a cold night, with all the resultant improved quality of life for the courageous souls who came out. Most wonderfully, my old friend, Bart Petty, an Angelino for the last 15 years, braved the elements to came out and shared some good beer with such great people as Kirsten Fitzgerald and Jeff Orr and Mark and Vicky Rector. Thanks to everybody.

But to address the question that is really on your mind, "what the hell happened with Mr. Poorluck Buys Some China, Part 2?" The answer is simple - sometimes things suck. I should remind you, though, that the opening vamp rocked pretty successfully. You were only disappointed because a song that started with such promise ended up crapping its pants. These things happen.

You liked Vibrating Chicken Stomp, though. Didn't you? Everybody else did.

The evening ended up very well, when we met Adam Burke at Cole's. Adam, as you know, is the supremely funny Irish comic who co-hosts Cole's Wednesday open mic with Cameron Esposito. We came up with some good ideas for Wednesday night. Until those pan out, the band will be warming up that show like we usually do. Be at Cole's Bar in Chicago, 2338 N. Milwaukee, by 8:30 this Wednesday to participate in the frolics.

Tonight Only (except when on other nights too)!!

Holy beans, it's time again. We have been promising that Foz the Hook would scald the room again at Cole's on January 4, and now the day has come. The wait is over!

Yesterday the boys got together and dress rehearsed the act, and everyone was completely tight. We also played the songs well (ba-doom).

So come in out of the cold tonight at Cole's, 2338 N. Milwaukee in Logan Square.

Foz the Hook will keep you warm with vigorous love-making or music (Foz's choice).

Scratch

Yesterday Foz and Dan sat down with a bunch of tracks that Foz recorded last year with Schwa from Bobby and the Chuxx (Steve Revare).

When put together in Logic the tracks added up to a scratch version of Nasty Snowman. After working on it for the afternoon Dan came up with a nasty bass part, which we got recorded. We then replaced the scratch vocal with a real vocal, and Dan added some nasty sounding overdrive. Finally, we put in the backing vocal track, and presto, we had a good portion of the first FtH recording. We will get Patrick in as soon as possible to lay down real drums to replace the scratch drums. Some time thereafter it will be presentable.

In the meantime, those who wish to hear Foz the Hook must see Foz the Hook, and that will happen next Monday night, January 4 at 9:00, at Cole's Bar in Chicago, 2338 N. Milwaukee.