A Feminist Post

Dear Hookers,

Don’t take that the wrong way, babies!  I am calling you hookers in the best possible context.  What?!?!  I am merely stating that you have sex with strange men for money.  It’s an exotic and glamorous line of work that a woman could choose, like comptroller, or firefighter, or jet pilot, or hooker.  What little girl doesn’t dream of the day a rich man in a suit will give her a huge diamond necklace like the one Julia Roberts gets in the film Pretty Woman, just for agreeing to have sex for money?  It’s a little girl’s dream – like unicorns, or ponies, or P.O.N.Y.  And then she won’t have to take all those classes required of candidates for comptroller positions. 

Here is a picture of Julia getting her big necklace.  She sure is pretty.

The preceding was a joke, if you didn’t figure that out yet.  If you wish to learn a little about Olde Foz’s opinions of the sex trade, just take a listen to The Old Dry Rub, from our debut album, Gin-Soaked Yankee and Other Disgraces.  

“It’s not so bad when they don’t fall in love!”

You might even think of buying it, cuz, you know, Your Pals in FtH might be whores for comedy, but we are not sluts.  At some point you got to pay.

Which reminds me – next week FtH will be presenting our annual Cole’s Comedy Christmas Pagent, FEATURING your favorite sing ‘a ‘long game, Grinch Karaoke.  You know what that is.  We play the Grinch song while you come up on stage and sing it.  It is always a hoot!  That will be next week, Wednesday, December 14 at Cole’s before Cole’s Bigass Comedy Open Mic featuring Cameron Esposito and Adam Burke.

Come tonight too.  It will be a regular Bigass Open Mic with FtH playing at 9:00, and the comics doing whatever they do at 9:30.

Also, with reference to the romantic topic we led with today, come February, FtH will be featuring another holiday pageant called Olde Foz’s Poison Valentines.

You will like that too, because Foz will be acting out scenes from Pretty Woman with ladies from the audience.

How dignified it will be.