Let's Lay some Pipes Tonight!

Hey, Cupid!

It is time to draw back your bow, and lay some pipe, you creepy toddler!

Tonight is Foz the Hook’s Poison Valentine Pageant at Cole’s Bar.

There are many fine performers on the bill tonight, like Rachel Ortiz on Bagpipes.  Now, that’s some pipe-laying! 

Natalie Jose is on the TeeVee.  Can you dig it, babies!?

Krystal LaFianza Pitzen always kills.  Kills with poisoned arrows of love!

I could talk about every one else, but I am getting tired of that.

The reason you are reading this today is so you can see the fantastic poster that Kate Adams made for the show!  Look at it!  It is trending on Facebook right now.  It’s a Goddam Meme, is what it is!

So, scoop up your sweetheart and bring that gender-neutral sexpot to Cole’s Bar, in Logan Square, in Chicago, in America, tonight at 8:45, just like Kate says.

If you don’t have a gender-neutral sweetheart, come by Cole’s anyway.  It is a great place to meet androgynous romantics with low self esteem! 

Your luck is improving, my lovelies.

The Poison Valentine.

My Darling Valentines,

You know how I love you.  You know that I love you more than life its self, but not quite so much as Gin.

Oh, Gin, I love you so – more than those stupid boring Valentines.  They are so neeeeedy.  But you!  You my Gin will always be true.

Oh, wait!  My sweetest Valentines!  I was only joking about my affair with Gin.  Gin meant nothing to me.  We were just having a little fun.  You know.  Men will be men and all. 

Oh, rats!  I have ruined it again, haven’t I?  Well, Happy Lincoln’s Birthday then.

So, in honor of Lincoln’s Birthday, I am proud to announce…

Foz the Hook’s Poison Valentine Pageant!

Be at Cole’s tomorrow night at 8:45, as Your Pals Foz the Hook Welcome to

Cole’s Stage

Kate Adams, From The Sweats & Singing With Cait Bowes!

Cait Bowes, From Foz the Hook’s Poison Valentine’s Pageant, 2012 Edition!

Bill Bullock, Who Plays Alto Sax and Tells Jokes!

Natalie Jose, From Weeping Willows and The Sweats and My Life is a Joke!

Krystal LaFianza-Pitzen, From Foz the Hook’s War on Christmas!

Muriel Montgomery, From Seattle & IO & Annoyance & Second City & I Don’t Know What All!

Rachel Ortiz, From Foz the Hook’s Poison Valentine’s Pageant, 2012 Edition!

All of these folks will join Foz the Hook for our most popular quarterly pageant.

Be there early, because the room fills up fast!  The show begins at 8:45.  At 9:30, there will be comics.

So, get your Valentine all warm and roofied with Foz the Hook’s Poison Valentine Pageant!