Nightmare Scenario

Last week we had a soft opening for this week's Hurricane Sandy Frankenshow, Foz the Hook's Nightmare Scenarios!

The Nightmare Scenarios work like this:  Real live (not dead) comics get up on stage at Cole's and tell the true story of a real nightmare they have had at some point.  It has to be real, and not made up, or we will know.  We are FtH.  While they are telling the story a team of interrogators asks them questions about the nightmare, and they have to answer.  At the end of the nightmare, after having spilled their guts about the darkest recesses of their souls, they stand there on stage while the whole audience judges them.  It's hilarious! 

In case that seems a little harsh to readers who might be new to FtH's unique brand of psychopathy, let me say that the first storyteller to go last week was Your Old Pal Foz himself.  I don't have time to relate the dream I told in prose, so I will just tell it in hashtags:

#universalconsciousness #highschool #SMELancers #Reagan #overseasADVENTURES #Beirut #Israselitanks #?Christian?militias #whiteroom #bench #nakedmen #labcoats&clipboards #dorkface #glandpinch #drnutsackflick #singletear #otheroom #grossmassacre #wailingmothers #eveningnews #Sabra #Shantila  #WorldBook #Creeeepy 

Then everybody judged me.  I have to say, it was a little bit liberating.  You have a strange dream, and you think to yourself, "Am I crazy?  Is there really something wrong with me?"  Then you tell your friends about it and they say "Yes.  You are not right.  There is definitely something wrong with you.  You might want to think about going away and hiding and never being seen talking to me ever again." And then you can think "Whew.  I thought so."

Tonight, for Halloween, we add two new non-Foz victims to the slab!  Be at Cole's tonight at 8:45 (not 9:00) to see FtH's Nightmare Scenarios, wherein FtH plays live music to Nosferatu (1922 version) for about 15 minutes, and then You watch Bill Bullock and Rebecca O'Neal tell crazy stories of their craziest dreams.

Then, after that, jokes.  You know.

Binding Full Women!

I did not watch the debate last night, so I must confess that I do not know the context behind this "Binders full of women" thing.  What I can say, with some authority, is that is an extraordinarily inefficient way to do your pornography.  My God, man! It is the 21st Century.  I am watching a live streaming donkey show on my phone right now!

The other problem with binders, in the view of Your Pals in FtH, is that the ladies too often get all the benefit, while the gentleman is left holding the whip.  We are a band that is committed to the principles of Shame and Disgrace.  If we are going to bring a binder into our bed play, we must insist on dog collars for everybody!

We have needs, people!

Please come to Cole’s tonight at 9:00 for FtH, followed by Cole’s BDSM Open Mic.  Be there on time to satisfy our needs.  Bring a binder full of women, if you must, but if you do so, don’t forget the pleasure whip (medium or better).  

Where is Patrick?

It has been two weeks!  Two weeks it has been since Patrick Stonehouse played drums with FtH.  It’s been so long since Patrick made the Wednesday night gig at Cole’s, where we, Your Pals in FtH, drive you wild with enthusiastic spasms of laughing, that I have almost forgotten what Patrick looks like.

Fortunately, I remembered that Patrick came to the Fourth of July Cole’s Hundred-two Degree Christmas Party last July 4^th.  I took pictures of that event because it included a primer on how foreigners play football.  After going through several fine pictures, I found this picture of Patrick Stonehouse relaxing with a non-alcoholic beverage after a scalding game of Not Football. 

Patrick has looked better.  In fact Leah Raffanti insists that this is actually a picture of Adam Burke, but since the subject is drinking a non-alcoholic drink, it couldn’t be Adam.

If you have any questions, ask Adam Burke tonight at the Cole’s Comedy Open Mic with Adam Burke and Kenny Witzgall and Sonia Denis.  You’ll go so crazy you’ll never drink a non-alcoholic beverage during a game of Football during a 102 degree Christmas party again!

It starts at nine.  Your pals might be broke, so bring extra beer money for us.