Roasty!

Foz and the boys are back tonight at Cole's, and it's going to be even better than you hoped.

Tonight Cole's comedy open mic will feature roasts of three of Foz's Faves, comics Adam Burke & Cameron Esposito, and booze impressario Coleman Brice.

And Foz the Hook gets to open the festivities! I'm not going to give away the whole set, but do be ready to experience the live debut of The Vibrating Chicken Stomp, Foz's first and probably greatest composition.

The fun starts at 7:45, and doesn't stop until we all stagger out into the cold. Bring extra undies, because you'll probably leave some behind.

Cole's is 2338 N. Milwakee in Logan Square.

Misty Chords of Memory

Last Sunday Foz and the boys worked up a fantastic new tune from the Bobby and the Chuxx Archives. It is an instrumental, and one of the the first songs Foz ever authored, away back when he was 16ish and The Chuxx were just getting started.

I'm talking, of course, about The Vibrating Chicken Stomp (Spam's Grand Lawn Fantasies, 1982).

Back then we used a combination of emerging Casio pre-programmed digital harp technology, and reedy, pubescent boy-voice to achieve the kids' favorite dance hit of 1982. Now FtH uses drums, bass, piano, and middle-age degenerate technology to achieve the same results, only wronger.

Join us on Monday, January 4th, as FtH premiers Vibrating Chicken Stomp '09, and the long anticipated Baby on her Bladder. The fun starts at 9:00 at Cole's Chicago, 2338 N. Milwaukee.

Love ya!

Foz

Arsenic and Sauerkraut Sandwich!

I think that's spelled right.

Last night Foz and Dan and Patrick opened the weekly comedy open mic at Cole's with a blazing six-song set to warm the room for Cameron Esposito and the comics.

Must admit it sounded better in practice, but the crowd seemed to appreciate it, assuming the laughing was intended as a gesture of appreciation. The good thing about our set is that we have some reliable hits that draw enthusiastic responses whether we're on top of our game or not. By that I mean With Drunk Astronauts, of course. Then last night we brought Cameron up with Downhome Christmastime, which is an easy song to play right.

We still need to find the right groove for Nasty Snowman, but it will come around. Mother Russia was finally too fast, which I didn't think was possible. All the instruments kept up pretty well, but Ole Foz couldn't sing the words fast enough, and even if I had sung up to tempo it would have been too tough for the audience to understand the lyrics. So we'll probably have to draw the song down to a more relaxed 180 beats per minute.

Which brings us to Grinch Karaoke v.2. We knew this was a good idea after last week's unexpected success. This week, with just a little bit of planning, the bit blew the roof off the room. The credit goes to the comics, who each took the mic for one stanza, and gave some magnificent and inspired interpretations of the Dr. Seuss classic. The best readings I could hear came from Cameron and from Chris Condron. Maybe I heard Mo Welch? The piano faces away from the mic, so I couldn't really tell who all got up, but they all deserve credit for making Grinch Karaoke about the best time I've had playing Cole's open mic.

Unfortunately, Foz will miss next week's open mic as I will be in Kansas City to see my folks and my kid sister. Patrick and Dan might play themselves, though. We are nothing if not versatile.

Wednesday's at Cole's

Foz the Hook is emerging as the warm up act for Cole's Wednesday night comedy open mic, which is pretty cool. Join us this Wednesday, December 16, as we open the show for host Cameron Esposito.

We will also repeat last week's raucous Grinch Karaoke. Come on out and be ready to belt out your best reading of "Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, Mangled up in tangled up knots."

In other news: Yesterday the band worked up Baby on Her Bladder, which is Foz's salute to pre-natal incontinence. It was better than even you ever imagined. Look for a debut before the big January 4 headliner.

My Soul is Full of Gunk

Last night was another great night of comedy at Cole's. Adam Burke did the hosting this time, and the comics were on the mark.

Patrick and Foz played a Grinch Karaoke, that really got the room rumbling. Adam solicited comics to come on stage and sing verses of "The Grinch Song" from the Dr. Suess classic TV program The Grinch That Stole Christmas. The readings of lines like "Thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot-pole," and "Stink, stank, stunk," sent the crowd into shuttering convulsions of hootin and hollerin.

Maybe we'll do it again next week. There's still 14 shopping days before Christmas!

Morning After

Foz and Patrick and Dan played an inspiring two-set show at Cole's last night.

Highlights included:
Downhome Christmastime is fast and funny, which is pretty much the definition of comedy.
Sex For Christmas had a good initial performance. It will tighten up when we play it a second time, but we could not possibly leave it out of this last performance before Christmas.
With Drunk Astronauts inspired a wild sing-along from the crowd of four (Three of them were not already friends). That's getting to be par for the course for this hilarious Bobby and the Chuxx tune with fantastic lyrics by thos. e.

All of the tunes from The Tennessee Williams Thing sounded great. That's going to be quite a project, with performance anticipated in February.

Then, as the music ended and the drinking continued Patrick and Leah started goading stories out of Dan to be used for future lyrics. Apparently, when Dan was once AWOL from the Army his friend rolled his car while they were driving through Beaver Nebraska, population 60, trying to get back to Fort Carson. Patrick scribbled all this own in his commonplace book. If we can think of enough rhymes, this could end up being a new song.

Blast

Foz and Patrick and Dan start playing music at 9:00 tonight at Cole's, 2338 N. Milwaukee Ave., in
Chicago. It don't cost nuthin'. Just bring beer money for the musicians (and a little something for yourself).

Pearl Harbor Day Wackiness!

Remember that Foz and the boys will be playing their regular first-Monday gig at Cole's next Monday night, December 7, 2009 - a date that will definitely live in infamy.

Fox, Patrick and Dan will be ding a final rehearsal tomorrow.

Cameron Esposito Kills at Lincoln Lodge Tonight

Last night Foz and Patrick the Drummer played for a wild room at Cole's Chicago. Had quite a time, and "Sex for Christmas" & "Downhome Christmastime" seem to be about ready to go for Monday's big show. Cameron Esposito was, as usual, a charming and hilarious, and excitable host.

Tonight I will be watching Cameron record her debut album at The Lincoln Lodge. Friends of Foz can be friends of Cameron too. The show starts at 9:00 at night. The cover is $10.

Comics are Back At Cole's

Join Foz and Patrick the drummer tomorrow night at Cameron Esposito's comedy open mic at Cole's Bar, 2338 N. Milwaukee in Chicago. We will feature Foz's favorite Christmas songs, such as "Sex For Christmas" and "Downhome Christmastime."

Then, on Thursday night join Foz at Cameron's big show at the Lincoln Lodge. Find the details at The Lincoln Lodge .

Curious Brittany Dream

Ok, last night I had the best dream about capital punishment. I was a prisoner - not an actor playing a prisoner, but a prisoner in the "Now you're on the slab" style of prisoner. I remember thinking that death wouldn't be so bad but I definitely didn't want it to hurt. The executioner - shall we call her Brittany - assured me that she would put me to sleep before starting the poison drip. She was perky. She put a thing like a blood pressure measuring thing on my right arm.

It's called what? Never mind.

So I lay down in the middle of the floor of this conference room with its gray carpet and broad white walls with too-small cheap pictures from the office supply service. Brittany turned on the death machine which made the sphygmomanometer squeeze my arm.

Here we go!

I started to get a little sleepy but was definitely not asleep. I also got the distinct impression that Brittany thought I was out. So I made sure to say, "You know, I'm not asleep yet. Hello?"

She assured me that there was a second a anesthetic to go in before she induced my heart attack. I think she was a little annoyed with me. Maybe this happens all the time, but since I've never been killed before, how would I know?

So she turned the dead dial up to two, the squeezer did its thing, and I waited. I actually started to perk up a bit, while at the same time starting to feel quite anxious about the impending spasms of chest-clenching pain and breathlessness. I again indicated that I was not quite ready to die.

Don't get me wrong. I wasn't trying to get her to not kill me. I pay my taxes, do my best to keep up with my credit cards, and meekly submit to extermination when my time comes. I also kind of hoped that Brittany liked me, so I definitely didn't want to put her off.

She came over and adjusted the thingy, while complaining that she couldn't find a vein. Now I was a little annoyed. The ladies at the blood donation center always said I had good veins. It's one of my good traits.

Anyway, she put the heart attack strap back on and went back to try the knock out drop again. Again with the anticipation of drowsiness and sleep. Again I just lay there waiting for the convulsions.

The air conditioner turned on.

Finally I just got tired of waiting and took off the sphygmomanometer. I told Brittany we would have to do this another day.

Then I got my stuff and left.